By Devlyn Steele
True story: A few years back I was working with a client who had recently moved to Los Angeles.
She was single, did not know many people in the big city, and felt a little lonely. I innocently
suggested she give online dating a shot. It seemed like an easy and pressure-free way to meet people,
and I had other clients who enjoyed their experience and were in good relationships as a result.
"What kind of desperate person do you think I am?!?" she snapped.
She apologized, but explained that she felt “weird” about online dating. This perked my curiosity, so
later I asked some of my other clients if they ever tried it. Some only confessed after their faces
turned three shades of crimson. Since I am a strong proponent of online dating, I dispel any stigma or
embarrassment when I recommend it to my clients. This is what I tell them:
For many singles, life moves like Richard Petty around the Talladega Speedway. We change jobs
every few years. We relocate more frequently. We cannot remember the last time we answered a
phone with a cord. Even if time is not the issue, some single people cannot shake the feeling that
everyone else is happy while they are always alone. We may look at online dating as an act of
desperation, because “normal people don’t need something like that.”
The simple fact is that you are not weird if you use an online dating service. We only feel weird when
we think we are doing something outside the norm. Consider this: over 40 million people in the US
access online dating websites every month. It is the fastest growing sector of online content. There is
no reason to feel embarrassed, because if you date online you are actually part of a huge group.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to find someone special, or at the very least make some new
friends, so why not use every resource available to you? You do not get extra points for meeting
someone in a bar or while waiting for dry socks at the Laundromat. Does it matter to you how you
met the important people already in your life? You probably barely even think about it.
By setting up a personal profile and a list of likes and dislikes, you invest time in yourself. More
importantly, you are taking action by trying to improve yourself and your situation. You are putting
yourself out there and taking control by refusing to be lonely and isolated.
I have found many advantages to the Internet. The anonymity of online dating allows you to roll out of
bed, hair standing in ten different directions, breath smelling like Boston Harbor at low tide – then
click! You stumble on a person you will be dating in a few weeks. The cost compared to going out
and searching is next to nothing. You can learn more about a person’s interests to see if they mesh
with yours. You do not have to deal with the harshness of rejection in person. You have a huge pool
of people to explore (remember, 40 million!) from all walks-of-life, people you would never have the
chance to meet within your neighborhood or small circle of friends.
There is also fraud and deception. You will probably come across a photo that looks eerily like Pamela
Anderson – right down to the copyright in the lower corner. Clients tell me about married people
posing as single. Nevertheless, these issues of honesty exist both on and off-line, so do not let that
stop you from finding the partner you want.
With 43% of the U.S. population being single and with so many single clients asking me about Internet
dating, I began to put a guide together to help my clients use this service effectively and safely and
avoid these pitfalls. I want everyone to find the happiness they deserve and want to make this Tool
book available to everyone for Free! To get your free E-Book, “Tools To Internet Dating” go to
TheRelationshipTools.com and get your copy today.
Don’t be ashamed or afraid, learn the best and safest way to use the Internet to take control of your
life and find the person you deserve!
About The Author
Devlyn Steele ("America's Leading Life-Coach") has been a public consultant and a private counselor
for over 15 years. A Cognitive Therapist, Radio host and Columnist, Devlyn also developed
ToolsToLife.com. Devlyn maintains a thriving practice in Hollywood, where he counsels famous
actors, musicians and captains of industry. Soon his new book will be available, Relationship Tools.
You can hear Coach Steele live every Tuesday on LoveBeat Radio 1310 KXAM.com 7-9 PM. Arizona
Time
coachsteele@toolstolife.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
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